the singapore horse pull the pine

i think it is quite an achievement to be able to finish a marathon, i have dreamt of finishing the half-marathon since last year, and still dreaming.

what are your experiences?

Just a Note

Staying up till 2am in the morning for work is something that I have not done for quite a long while. Sometimes, you debate whether one should put in so much effort for something that you're getting a monthly salary for, it might be better to put such sacrifice into your own business. Anyway, I'm probably someone who's not that entreprenuernial (is that how you spell it??) and very much for me, it's trying to balance what I enjoy doing (not the staying up late part) as well as time with my family. It may sound terrible, but I think I'll probably not be able to cope very well if I have to face my 2 highly energetic boys for the entire day (i.e. if I stop working)... going to work in a way is less tiring as there's time of your own to do something other than change diapers(well, I must admit I stop doing that already with "outsourcing"). Of course as they grow older, I do worry about the fact that they probably are under some non-structured supervision in the daytime and to free the caregivers of time to do their own things, the 2 boys are probably left to watch quite a fair bit of TV or "play n their own"... that's the trade off.

Actually I wanted to write because it's coming a Year to Weiqiang's passing on and I was wondering if any of you are intending to visit (not sure if this is the right word....) I was thinking of the weekend, let's see....

Choices

It took a timely sms from KC to remind me that i've somewhat neglected Kopitiam. Am i glad that there're actually new posts from the last time i checked.
It's all about the choices we make isn't it? I don't know about the future, but for now we're steering clear of FDWs. Time and time again, we see kids running to their "aunties" instead of parents in times of need. Will we feel anything if that happens to us? And if we have someone employed to specifically look after the needs of our son round the clock, how do we still teach him self-reliance and independence? I saw a couple went through the emotional and physical turmoil of dealing with the problems their first 4 FDWs brought. All that effort could have gone into doing the things they wanted the FDW to do in the first place. So it's about the choice we make. The reality is that there's no such thing as a free-size T-shirt (it is of a certain fixed size!).
And i applaud Yeek/PP and Suuwei/Serene for having the courage and vision to choose the paths less travelled, the paths that you believe in. I'm still choosing.
So for us, part-time cleaners is the way to go for now... perhaps until i completely run out of time even to read new blog entries and poke friends on facebook.
Last but not least a few current pictures of Kieran, as requested by KC. As with all of your kids too i'm sure, he's quite a hard nut to crack at times but a mega bunch of joy as well.

Hi everyone, thought of just pop in to say HI and update everyone too! :)

Sze Ern is now 3.5 years old and is getting really interactive and it is great to see ideas & creativity sprouting from her now. She made all the smiley faces using the toy foods and started talking to her frens! Ha ha..;)

How are you now Shuhui? Guess you've settled down long time ago. Yes, I do believe in taking bold steps towards life to fulfil your dreams. You've our full blessings of course and we'll definitely meet again somewhere around the world I'm sure!

It is great to see many of us (Yingjie, Qiwei, Guohao, KhingChong, Guochuan...) getting into parenthood these 1-2 years, going through the challenges and enjoying the transformation in our lifestyle and thinking. We learnt alot about life from the kids, u know. But I guess three (kids) is the max no. for all of us huh? Well done Peisoon!

I've just said BYE BYE to my job of 9 years in MINDEF during the eve of my promotion in July this year (after fulfiling 8 years of obligations of course) to focus time more on family. Being a full-time daddy is really something I treasure nowadays. I guess I've realised that I should spend my precious 8am-6pm daytime time (incl. weekdays!) with people that matters to me most in life. Doing what we're doing now leaves us the freedom to choose many aspects in life now. I've to give many thanks to Ping Ping who chosen the right platform and direction for us 4 years ago. And actually it is Guo Hao who gives us the opening to find out more initially (thank you from the bottom of our hearts really!). To think I was the one who stubbornly resisted it 4 years ago, hee hee.

Anyway, now we've moved beyond common pursue for 'financial freedom' or even so-called 'retirement' lah. There's no meaning in such things. 'Retirement' is not the word so long as you always have choices in life and always hold on to your dreams. Doing things you love to do and most importantly doing for others to fulfil their needs or dreams in life is what makes you go on meaningfully in life I guess.

By the way, as an update, we're also attending the RCIA journey with Novena every Tuesday night till next year Easter, before we decide to confirm our faith. Thanks Mike!

Beyond our kids and families, I will also not forget we're (some of us) supposed to keep our dream of sailing out to the magnificent seas together one day in an awesome yacht, right?

Have Faith, stay healthy and keep your dreams alive. God Bless! ;)

Titleless Too

Yes yes yes...i have also succumbed to the need for domestic help, having tried to take care of dandan ourselves and realised that it's just too much a stretch. Being able to take care of the baby yourself is wonderful if you can afford the time and effort, but we realised that what can happen is also that by doing everything yourselves, the joy of parenthood may just be drowned out by the weariness.

So yes, we've joined the club - and become an employer of what they call the FDW (foreign domestic worker - sounds more professional than 'maid' right?). Catalyst is so right that a good FDW is just so hard to find, you are either very good at one thing and bad at another or vice versa. For us, we're actually finding it hard to get one that has genuine rapport with the baby. This is now our top priority, even over being perfect at keeping the house clean.

Anyway, we were hoping to have a baby get-together at globetrotters but in the end it was more of an adult get-together, which was good too, given that we've not hung out for a while. There was a suggestion to have a beach outing so the kids can run or crawl or sit or flip around, while the parents catch them...i mean catch up. Anybody on?

Titleless

It's been quite some time ago since I have last blogged. From the posts that I have seen, looks like it is the same for the rest as well. Just came back from MC for 2 days, although still not feeling well, but have to come to office to "show face" and also to "catch up" with the work.

Met up with Yeek and Ping ping recently. Apparently, they are enjoying their "retirement" days. Am glad that they have found a new life and enjoying it. I believe that not everyone has their passion and determination to make Amway for for them. Anyway, I have become their down line again, not for the financial freedom, but simply because Justin likes the chewy Vit C from Amway, so it is cheaper for us to buy as a Amway member.

Anyway, last 2 weeks were a little too much with 2 kids and myself being sick. Unfortunately, Xue'e is also travelling on biz trips. If not for our maid, i think our kids would have suffered the most. Somehow, I noticed that our maid has taken care of Justin and Darren quite well. I have to admit that I did not bother with the kids' medication at all for the past 3 days. She had handled it well, of course, under the instruction of Xue'e, I guess.

So, in short, I am a strong advocate for having domestic help. Sometimes, it is not easy to find a good help though. With two of us working, knowing that someone is there to look after the kids certainly helps to relieve some stress.

BTW, I have missed the one organised by YC at the globe trotters. Any updates on who turn up and pictures?

just to share these links:

http://www.mypaper.com.sg/inmyheartcontest_result.html

http://myepaper.mypaper.sg/ecreator/sphopf/ep250807_opf_files/pg14-15b.html

hey kopitiamers, just realised changfu had some comments posted anonymously and they were awaiting moderation since few weeks ago. have since approved them so dun be surprised to see some that are back-dated.

Hello from Philly

Many thanks for all of you for your well-wishes. We thoroughly enjoyed the prata and the various informative advice given to us, such as shopping tips from our shopping expert LML.

I arrived in Philly on Tues night (Wed morning SG time). The weather here is surprisingly warm and I am really looking forward to a cooler weather. Spent lots of time walking around to get a better feel of the city and some parts of Philly remind me of NY.

I must say that this move to the US has certainly not been an easy decision for me. Many people have told me that I am courageous to take this path. But I always see it as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I guess it isn't so much of a right or wrong move. Things can seem so wrong initially may turn out to be right in the long term and vice-versa. It's a decision that we have made so we will just have to make the best of it.

Will blog more as I settle down in the new city. So be prepared for more news in future from your friendly correspondent from Philly.

Of Hopes and Dreams

The prata meet-up on Sunday to bid bon voyage to Suu Wei and Serene, with XM, CF, QW, JJ, PS and the partners and kiddos in tow was great! It was a nice pleasant morning, especially when i am not an early person on weekends. But having the morning out to have teh halia, prata and reminiscing over the old times was not too bad after all!

Kudos to Suu Wei and Serene for being so brave to give up all they had to strike it out in the US. There are times when I feel the desire to change my job, move overseas but this only takes place in a 'Sliding Door' scenario or when i'm dreaming. I remembered that when i was in New York, i walked past a reputable PR Agency and i really stood outside its doors for a good 5 minutes and thought what it would feel to work inside. But these are only secret desires. Both CM and myself decided that there was too much at stake for us to let go of everything and just create a future out of the unknown.

Bravo, Suu Wei and Serene! Wishing you both the very very best. As with the title of our blog, CARPE DIEM!

Take care and keep in touch always!!

Just a post

In the midst of meetings, readings, labwork, visiting the animal house and back home the diaper changes, feeds and baby-talks, I sometimes get reminded that there's still this little space of ours to retreat to for a few moments of quiet thoughts and nostalgia. I just had to conjure up some story to post today. Speaking of nostalgia, i have been running into our juniors from HC from time to time.. pple who are like a decade our junior. And it's just amusingly interesting to hear them talk about similar kind of stories/experiences that happened to them, and that are still happening today.. like PROM nights at Shangri-la, speedie-gonzalez, silly "mountain-song" cheers.. Most recently, there was this girl who was like from class 02S78 and whose brother was the mass dance IC in something like the 28thSC. Brrr...

In case it hasn't hit you, Suuwei is leaving soon! On the 24th! Catch him while you can!

Our 3 Week-old Hooligan

Introducing the new hooligan on the block - Daniel Leong Eu Shay. We call him dan-dan in an attempt to cosy up with him, so he will terrorise us a little less. Didn't really work; he still behaves like an out-of-order alarm clock, waking us up for an odd-hour feed every so often. Funny how being parents is like - it is like there's this bully in school that keeps beating you up and stealing your milk, and yet you keep finding him adorable.

On Fathers Day...

Can't help realising the difference in treatment between Father's Day and Mother's Day and feeling a slight injustice for all fathers out there... First of all, you don't get mega signages at shopping malls telling you when exactly Father's Day is (which made it difficult to make plans to celebrate it!). Secondly, you don't get bakeries designing special Father's Day cakes unlike Mother's Day where there are specially flavoured love-shaped cakes. Thirdly, you are not bombarded by advertisements luring you to pamper your Father. So, does it mean that our society value Mothers more than Fathers? Or is it that Mother's Day is a more 'fleece-able' day?

I sometimes feel that Fathers are the neglected lot when it comes to emotional pampering, although sometimes it is the own doing of fathers that resulted in the current state of neglect for their day. My dad is a fine example. He will say 'aiyah, no need to celebrate lah' or 'don't waste money lah' whenever we propose ways to celebrate Father's Day. But when it comes to Mother's Day, he will be the one making a reservation at the restaurant! Perhaps he feels that he too want to take the occasion to thank my mum for all that she has done for the family, or just a common perception that 'women always like these kinds of things'?

Hmmm... baffling...

happy daddy's day

circle of life - part II

this afternoon, myself and colleagues in my department had attended a wake of a fellow colleague who just passed away. he was in his early 40s and is survived by his wife and 2 very young sons. earlier this week on wednesday, he had encountered difficulty in the SRC swimming pool at my workplace and could not be revived after being rushed to NUH. the spooky thing is that i was in the same pool 24 hours before the accident happened.

this has to be the 4th funeral in the last 1 year or so that i am attending where the passing away is related to natural causes. my mind was struck with the miracle of life again and again especially with many new-borns in the last 1 year or so too.