Sigh....
Have you guys read Thurs' Newpaper?
Yet another young man died in his sleep, but this time after a short bout of fever.
Worse, his wife is like 7 months pregnant and the fact that this man was reported to be enthusiastically buying stuff for her baby really saddened me big time....because I thought of my baby and how it would be like if I never got to see her pretty face.
Our dear friend's name was mentioned again in the sidebar, about who else had suffered the same fate over the last two months. Unfortunately the reporter spelt his name wrongly.
On the same note, wonder who went to the ritual on thursday?
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Not to dampen your festive spirit, I'm sure most of you have noticed the christmas songs playing at shopping malls and the toy fairs galore everywhere. Let's not forget the caring and sharing spirit of Dr Toh and do our part for the less fortunate. It's a shame that after NUS, I haven't been very active in the charity movement. I never buy tissue paper from old ladies or blind folks because I was told that was not the right thing to do.
I never dialled in at NKF or Ren Ci gala shows because the cynic in me loathe the ra-ra nature of such charity shows, and doubt the sincerity of those involved (the downfall of TT Durai proved me right, sadly). My wife and I have been contemplating for a long time to want to make regular contributions to Kwang Wai Siu Hospital along Serangoon Rd, but procrastination meant that the cheques never reach the deserving personnel. Maybe we are really growing old and becoming more cynical. Don't you agree that most charity drives are mooted by people (eg. insurance/pharmaceautical companies, young guns with political ambitions) who just want some cheap publicity? It was especially obvious when I was with the press and saw through it all. Sick.
So I guess this year is the year to kickstart my personal agenda again.
But to who? Which org has the integrity and the resolve to make sure the deserving parties get the pie?
Any ideas/suggestions?
9 comments:
I read the TNP report... his wife must be devastated. So much to look forward to and suddenly everything collapses. The fact that these deaths are so common these days makes me fear going to sleep every nite.
The report also highlighted the need for us to rest when we have to, huh? Why are they both at work when they are running a fever? I'm sure there have been instances where we go to work even when we are sick... are our work controlling our lives?
KC - maybe you can consider MILK or ST School Pocket Money Fund? Personally, Ren Ci touched my heart - not so much about the organisation, but the plight of the terminally ill patients. A thought just crossed my mind - perhaps we can contribute our services instead of just money? Hmmm.... one thing you can consider is to take indiv or family pics, i can either cook or organise sing-along sessions and the rest can do whatever they are good at (play guitar etc etc). That's another activity we can do together huh? But we have to select a charity/home to go to lah... What do the rest think?
Is this a case of a 'normal' event happening as usual but only getting an incidentally higher level of publicity or is there some kind of plague going on?
The rate that this is happening does raise an alarm. But perhaps we have just been going about our lives wearing blinkers. Statistics have shown that many people die daily due to all kinds of reasons, but the severity of our fagility only hits when one of them is somebody we know. On the other hand, maybe we need to wear these blinkers so that we may proceed with life without being paralysed by the anxiety of death.
After WK's death, i find myself shifting to 5th gear in my effort to buy adequate insurance. It's been something on the 'things to do' list for quite a while but was never really given its due attention (i've actually done a comparison chart between plans of the big 5 insurers if anyone is interested).
Buying insurance is actually a very morbid thing to do. Especially when you're discussing with your spouse how much you should buy. You ask each other questions like 'if i die, how much do you think my funeral will cost?'. Even writing this down feels like a taboo that makes some go 'choy! choy! choy!', as if by saying that it will not happen. And as if by not saying it, it will happen right away! Sometimes it is actually superstitious thoughts like this that put us in a straightjacket of fear.
Buying insurance is also a very mathematical thing to do. Anyone who has come under the knife of a 'financial health analysis' must have felt the power of figures to make you feel quite small. First of all you will marvel at the astronomical figure of so-called 'sufficient coverage'. Then you will wonder how on earth you can pay for that premium that will give you that 'sufficient coverage'. And you haven't even started thinking about the investments for your retirement egg-nest!
A big part of it is actually some form of gamble. You weigh the coverage against the premium against the company's claim reputation against the likelihood of death, total and permanent disability, 30 critical illnesses, hospitalisation, accident etc... and you place your bet on the best horse, hoping that it will give you a good run for your money.
In fact, the gamble doesn't stop short at signing on the dotted line. It goes beyond financial provision for your surviving loved ones. Just like buying insurance, choosing a faith can also be thought of as a gamble. You research on the proposals of the various 'companies', study how real is their promised coverage, and you can even do a comparison chart! Then you put your bet on the horse that delivers. The french mathematician/physicist Pascal (aka Pascal's Triangle) used probability theory, decision theory and the concept of infinity to help make a case for faith, but of course that's because he's Pascal. For ordinary folks like us, we need only exercise whatever skills we have gleaned from shopping for insurance.
Another thing that we should look at - drawing up a will. It's even more morbid, but necessary:) I've not done mine... has anyone?
I think you don't really have to buy a lot of policies to cover anything after death.
what i gather is that a life policy is relatively cheap, that only pays out if one dies.that'll take care of your spouse/family's future for a while.
next is hospitalisation coverage when one is still alive, because one big financial tragedy is huge medical bills that will cause severe drain.
don't buy those investment-linked shit because they are expensive and you will do better by buying an index fund.
a will is a good way to prevent money going to the state. however, i am in no hurry to do that yet because i have nothing to include in my will. house/car are all under my wife's name and maybe she can have the dog but i guess that's natural. or maybe she can shoulder all my credit card debts too!
From the little research i've done, it's evident that protection against total and permanent disability or TPD is the most financially draining thing. Much worst than if one party dies because when one becomes say, fully paralysed, there's the hefty medical bills to pay, AS WELL AS the need to replace lost income to sustain the same lifestyle.
At that stage, one really needs much more strength, will and faith to keep life going. It is therefore really amazing when you see disabled people living life more fully than you and I.
As for the idea of charity mentioned earlier, shall we do something for some of these children's organisation? One of these is the Children's Cancer Foundation. In fact, we could use the fund to make a donation in WK's name since children seem to love him so dearly.
Went to the ritual last Thu. Hadn't had time to post until now so here goes...
We started at Singapore Casket at 11am. His ashes where transferred from the urn onto a piece of red cloth to be transported to the temple. The monk discovered a piece of she(3) li(4)n guo(3) in the ashes. According to him, this is rare and usually occurs when the deceased has led a charitable and just life (regardless of religion).
We next went to a temple in Jurong called Ci(2) Yun (2) Temple. Another ceremony was performed there to transfer the ashes to the temple's urn to be displayed in a room at the basement. This is where WK's loved ones can pay tribute during Ching Ming.
Let's make it a point to pay tribute to WK during the next Ching Ming. Shall we?
Great that you could make it that day, guochuan. At least we had a representative. I visited the temple last week, the full name of the place is actually: xin1 jia1 puo1 de2 jiao4 hui4 zi3 ying2 ge2, address 39 Jurong west Ave 1, Tel: 65601369. They are open 24/7. If you want to visit at odd hours, give them a call to check if someone is there. The chief/director of the place is Mr Chew Hiong San (Zhou1 Xiong2 San1), Yushan's mother's primary school mate. WQ's unit is... either 4592 or 4952. Will check this up again. If pple are keen, we can visit together this saturday. Of course, ching ming as well. There will be a 49-day ritual on 4th Jan, more info to follow.
Usage of the memorial fund is still pending, possible charity organisations you have named are being considered.
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Insurance. I'm beginning to think that i'll bank more on term insurance to beef up coverage, and be more active in investing myself.
Following up on my earlier comment... WQ's family is holding a special service for him on Sunday 14th Jan, 10am. Venue is at the Jurong West temple. Their intention is to involve family, friends and some of his patients. If you are keen, meet there directly at 9:45. Address stated in earlier comment. And just to confirm, WQ's unit is 4952.
It has also been decided that the memorial fund will be donated entirely to a charity, to be decided by the family. Based on WQ's inclination, priority will be given to charities for the old, followed by breast cancer patients and then children. We'll start talking to charities to explore possibilities of giving his name a permanent feature somewhere. If you come across any suitable options, do let me know.
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