Darren was down with diarrhea for the last 2 weeks. It started with high fever and watery stools. Bacterial infection was suspected and with that hospitalisation was recommended to hydrate him and also put him on iv antibiotics (oral antibiotics will not be effective as it worsens diarrhea). Not another stay at TMC!!! I thought, but yes, it is, again
The most horrifying experience was to put Darren on a drip. The first one done on the leg didn't go well, and instead of the liquid/medication going to the vein, it went to the tissues around the leg.... He was crying a lot and I thought it was from his diarrhea cramps, so I carried him upright with his head rested on my shoulder.... it comforted him for a while, but then occasionally he looked at me with this very pathetic expression n started crying again. I still remember his expression now and felt that he must be telling me "Mummy, I'm trying my best not to cry but it's really painful!!" Babies can't talk but their cries do communicate, and it pains me to have failed him that I've not noticed all this while, liquid was filling up his feet and calf. In fact by the time we discovered, his calf was so tight that I could hardly press it down (it's twice the size of his other leg and the ankle is not visible) and his toes looked purplish.
I was hysterical... the minute they removed the drip from Darren, he had this confused look on his face and stopped crying instantly,...it's like "hey, it not painful now, what was that?!" Of course, looking at the state of his feet I started crying and the minute he saw that, he started crying again, he must be thinking "Oh something horrible must have happened to make mummy react like that". Instantly I realised my effect on him and had to hide my panic and comfort him smiling....
Thankfully the swelling subsided after a day.
Children draw strength/learnings from parents, so parents always have to appear strong and positive (anyone watched The Persuit of Happyness - i thought that was a nice movie). I also remember an incident with Justin when he wanted to do something and I casually made a negative remark (not in front of him but to Guohao) about that intended action. Immediately, Justin told Guohao, "Daddy, I cannot do that because mommy said bla bla" Gosh, I wasn;t even talking to him... immediately I had to explain to him that I don;t mean what I said earlier and that he can of course proceed with his activity....
As our children grow older, it's largely our thinking/actions (subsequenty friends and teachers) that is going to shape their thoughts and behaviour as they really look to us as their model...a big responsibility.
3 comments:
correction - Darren's diarrhea lasted a week... 2 weeks would have been too stressful. He's getting better now and is starting to smile more, which of course puts a smile on his parents as well :)
Many thanks to Xue'e for the evidently emotional anecdote - it really brings across the many tears (out of both angst and joy i guess) of parenthood. Together with Peishan's popping on 'labour' day, the anticipation is really building up now.
The issue of being a role model is indeed very true. Someone once said that everyone of us is a model to the whole world, as every action that we take is subjected to the spectatorship of everyone else. Our minds often operate along the phrase "everybody is doing it, so why can't I?".
Recently I was caught in a heavy jam admist a heavy downpour. All vehicles were stationary at most times. Two vehicles ahead of me was this 10-footer truck with loads of Indian/Bangladeshi workers sitting under the open sky. Though the rain was heavy the shivering of the workers was glaringly visible. In my mind, I was thinking of how I could help without getting wet. So I told myself that I'll try to filter to the next lane and pass an umbrella to them if I could drive by their side. Yet when the lights turn green, the truck pick up speed and made a right turn, away from my straight path. In the corner of my eyes, the workers continue to shiver in the downpour as the truck pulls away.
I felt guilty right away. Why couldn't I have walked out of my car and passed the umbrella to them while all vehicles were stationary? Why was I thinking of helping only if it did not cost me anything? Would any of them come down with pneumonia because of this? I'd imagine that they can't take MC as easily as we could.
And if I had a child sitting in the car through this episode, what would he have learnt from his role model? "If everyone else is not doing it, why should I?"
May this be my lesson learnt in role modelling.
yj, ya episode prompts me to think abt the giving-up-seats-to-those-who-need-more talk-abouts....
while most blames and critise the Buay-jee-dongs and buay-pai-sehs ....
I was thinking...can the needies be the proactive ones?. that is to request the buay-jee-dongs and the buay-pai-sehs to give up his/her seat....
Perhaps.. on the contrary... are the needies feeling paiseh ?
err... i realise i might be deviating from the topic of role modelling..... sorry
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